Hearing Loss. You say those words, and most of us have an idea of what it means.. or do we?
It is invisible so therefore it's not the first thing we notice about someone. I might give you a strange smile, nod when I shouldn't and start chatting about something a little off the conversational track. It sometimes makes me look rather stupid, which in turn causes me to try and compensate by attempting to talk my way out of it...
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. A hearing loss is not the end of the world, by any means, but it is misunderstood. So lets start at the beginning... Waking up.
My new alarm clock is great, as my iphone is plugged into it and will light up before the songs start - blasting the whole complex with music. My cat silently meows until I feed her, and I sit watching the morning news while I have my breakfast with the sound all a-muffle.
I get ready for the day and check my phone, in case I missed a call or message from work. And then I put my Hearing Aids in. I hear my cat scratching at her litter box, the sound of the TV from the living room, and realise it is raining today.
The bus ride to the office can be hard work. A neighbour is on the same bus this morning so I am concentrating overtime to converse correctly. I start by choosing a seat where I can sit opposite her. Now I can watch her, trying to lip read as much as I can. The background sounds drowns out a lot of the conversation, but I'm not doing too badly. I fill in the gaps of the sentences as best I can, just like the game Wheel of Fortune.
At the office the day gets under way, with the phones starting and the clients attending for their appointments. The sounds of the day take over and I find myself slipping into my own little work-world, busying myself with paperwork and other tasks to be done. Suddenly a voice catches my attention, sounding irritated at my lack of response. When the question is repeated, it's done loudly and with annoyance forcing me to be apologetic.
Lunch time today means a trip to McDonald's - naughty, but why not! I stand in line to be served, my mind going over the tasks I need to complete before the end of the day. Someone behind me taps my shoulder, making me look up at the girl waiting to serve me. Her look shows irritation; she's busy and I'm holding her up. I place my order, nodding to a question I don't hear. She waits, watching me with a puzzled expression and I realise that I have to ask her to repeat it. She does, but I still can't hear her over the sound of the children and the kitchen. I shake my head with embarrassment, my stress level rising, and ask her to repeat it one more time. This time I hear it, and mumble I'm eating in..
Back at work, the long afternoon is closing down and my boss is asking me something from her office. Without thinking I nod, "no problem" I say. I sit for a moment, knowing I have to confirm what she said. As she comes out of her office a few moments later, I check what she said; which is just as well as I had it really wrong. Her look is a genuine apology "I'm talking at the computer, as if you're gunna hear me! Sorry darl!"
The day winds down, and I head to the bus for home. It is Friday night, and I am tired from a week of concentrating. None of my "bus buddies" are on the bus tonight so I read my book, enjoying the escape. I don't have to strain to hear conversation so I get to switch the brain off a little.
I am finally home, my cat meowing for her dinner. The news captions are not quite up to speed, running a few sentences behind. I notice I'm tired enough to be missing a lot of what is said, which makes me grateful for the captions.
I make my way to bed, the last task of the night to take out my Hearing Aids. The sound of the toilet hissing and refilling instantly vanishes, the creak of the floorboards suddenly silent. The constant "ringing" of Tinnitus is immediately in full volume, slowly settling into the background.
I crawl into bed, snuggling down. The cat suddenly stops her wash to stare into the darkness at the doorway. I wonder if someone is breaking in but can't really be bothered worrying about it. At least if there is a party tonight, it won't wake me up. Unless of course they have lights blaring all night...
